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发表于 2022-6-14 17:49:44
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A small, black hair man with a freshly tanned complexion and a shabby grey suit stood alone in the elevator. Coming back to work after a vacation was always a depressing business. Fergus Kelly had been pining for his little hotel room in Santa Barbra almost immediately. Well that, and the hot So Cal sun, and the coast and the food... but mostly, he had to admit, it was not being here, in his crummy office job with broken air con and a terrible boss-
Fergus, shifting from one foot on to the other as the elevator travelled up to the marketing floor, paused mid-thought. Oh, that was right. His boss had been sacked. He’d gotten a text from his friend Sam about a day into his vacation. The third boss to go in a year. He silently clenched his fist and smiled. Rob had been an awful manager, somehow even worse than the two he had succeeded. He wouldn’t be missed by the staff, that was for sure, the Vernon Dursley lookalike tyrant. After a moment of quiet satisfaction, another thought hit Fergus. There would be a new boss waiting for him this morning. The fourth boss. He remembered reading that in Japan, four was an unlucky number, much like thirteen in the west. Fergus’s fist unclenched, and he cracked his knuckles, one after the other.
When he got to his floor he tried to gauge the mood of the room. Heads were down, workers either typing away or talking on the phone. This wasn’t a clear indication of anything really-work had just started after all. He checked his watch; it was just after nine. He hurried over to his computer. Sam was already typing away at the next computer. He was a thin, gangly man, like a scarecrow that had brushed up well. He grinned at Fergus as he sat down and mouthed a “hello.” This was a bad sign. Sam was usually a little work-averse, happy to chat and skirt the line with what he could get away with at work. It wasn’t like him to be so quiet.
“Good to be back.” Said Fergus, pulling his office chair up to his desk and flashing his friend a smile. Sam immediately looked around before raising a finger to his lips.
“Shhh! Wade will hear us.” He whispered, before pointing to his screen. He had surreptitiously brought up a little notepad on screen. Nodding, Fergus did the same, before typing a message:
“This is kinda weird.”
“New boss, and she’s a total battle-axe. Not to be effed with.”
“I thought you said Wade? Did you mean Wade Lambert?”
“He’s the boss’s assistant. Poor guy.”
“Assistant? And Wade’s a dick”
“Yeah, but…you’ll see.” Fergus’s brow furrowed. He tried not to type too loud as he tried to understand what was going on.
“You’ll s-”
That was all Sam managed to type before a door pushed open, and out walked Wade Lambert himself, looking decidedly unhappy. He barged past a few startled looking co-workers. As luck would have it, he happened to make eye contact with Fergus, and stopped in front of him. Wade was a large man with a black goatee and dark eyes. He was gruff and blunt, the sort of person who took rudeness for honesty. He had never liked Fergus, and the feeling had been mutual. The big man looked down at the smaller co-worker, and sneered at him.
“Bad luck, Fergus. You’re up.” He said, tilting his head at the open door. It leads into the manager’s office.
“Eh?”
“I quit. Boss wants a new assistant, and you’re it.”
“But-“
“I’d get in quick if I were you. She’s something else…”
Wade promptly pushed past the baffled office worker, before storming right out of the room. Everyone working craned their heads, watching the burly grump make his exit. Then, slowly, all heads swivelled until they were facing Fergus. It had gotten very quiet all of a sudden. He felt a bead of sweat form on his forehead.
“Tough luck, man.” Said Sam, shaking his head. “Hope she’s a little easier on you than Wade.”
“Jesus, Sam, who did we hire, Cersei Lannister?”
“I don’t watch that show.”
“You’re letting me down here, Sam.”
“Don’t panic, man, just don’t be a tool like Wade. Play it smart, keep calm, ok?” Fergus took a few deep breaths to pump himself up. “OK, anything I should know before I go in?” he asked. Sam hesitated.
“Nah, she’s just kind of a jerk. You can deal with that though.”
“You’re right. I eat jerks for breakfast.”
“That sounds unhealthy.”
“Please respect my lifestyle choices. OK, here I go…” He got up, walked a few yards, then stopped.
“And you don’t all have to watch me go, you’re making me nervous!” he said, addressing the room at large. Everyone present suddenly got back to work, the sound of keyboards chattering filling the air. Taking another deep breath, Fergus cautiously approached the door to the manager’s office and knocked on the door. There was no reply.
“Hello?” he said. It occurred to him that he had forgotten to ask the new boss’s name. Well, too late now. He poked his head in through the door. “I was told that you would be-“
He gasped. Then he put his hand over his mouth, not knowing how to react. Sitting on a comfortable looking swivel chair was a woman, dressed in a buttoned up grey suit and skirt combination. She had a sizeable bust, with a hint of a red bra poking out towards the centre of her chest. This was the biggest and most obvious clue that the new manager was female, as she was missing her head. Where a human head should have been, there was only a metallic looking disc sitting on her neck stump, a green light flashing occasionally. Her arms and legs were also totally absent; her suit jacket didn’t even have any sleeves, and her skirt was tucked in underneath her hips. She sat perfectly still, betraying no sign that she had even heard Fergus enter the room, her chest rising and falling the only sign of life. This was the dreaded new boss?
He stood there, halfway inside the room, looking at the living torso who had apparently terrorised the office these past two weeks. Fergus look back out at the office, looking for some sign that he had just fallen victim to an elaborate prank, but everyone had their heads down, working away. He walked into the manager’s room, shut the door behind him, and walked up to the chair’s occupant. She still did not move. Could she even talk? Did she even have any senses?
“Can you hear me?” he asked. There was no reply. Fergus started to feel faintly ridiculous. What was he supposed to do here, tap Morse code onto her shoulder and hope for the best? Feeling like he had no other option, he gently reached a hand out and, taking care not to startle her, patted his new boss on the shoulder. There was a palpable reaction; she squirmed very slightly before going still again. Then there was a vibrating noise on the desk to her side. Fergus saw a small, cheap looking mobile phone, the sort of cheap throwaway ones you used to see. He went over an picked it up. There was a new message:
Hmph. You took your time. Name?
The letters showed up in that exact style: heavy and bold, black lettering on a white background. Fergus looked at the screen, then back at the woman in the chair. He stared had at her. Had she just sent him a text? A few seconds later, the phone vibrated again, signalling a new message.
Hello? Urgh, the last guy did this as well. Yes, I’m talking to you, you dolt. Text me back.
The messages were coming far faster than any normal human could text by hand. Not having time to sit and ponder the mechanics behind it, he quickly fumbled out a reply.
“Hello my name is Fergus” he texted. He only had to wait a few seconds for a reply.
You’re my new assistant. From now on, I say and you do. Got it?
“Yes”
Good. Now go get me a coffee. Black.
Fergus hesitated. There was an obvious question to ask here… his fingers worked around the keypad again.
“Sorry but how do you drink?”
Through my butt.
“Really?” he texted back. The torso wiggled in her seat as a reply was sent to the cell phone.
No, obviously not you absolute dolt. There’s a hatch on my collar. Pour it down there, genius. Chop chop! Consider yourself under review!
Bewildered, Fergus stumbled out of the manager’s office, heading past his co-workers. As he passed his old desk, he heard a snigger.
“Thanks for the heads up, Sam”
“Hahaha. Well there was no head to give you a heads up about.”
“Piss off.”
A quick trip to the coffee machine later, Fergus sped back to the office with a fresh cup of black coffee. He picked up the phone in one hand and texted out a quick message.
“ok bk got ur coffee” he text. Then he put the phone down, although not fast enough to avoid the latest message.
Never type like that again. Now let me have that caffeine hit.
Putting the cup down for now, he walked over to the limbless, headless woman in the chair, examining her collar. There was, it turns out, two holes on top. One was covered with a mesh, and he could see it moving and rippling. He put a hand over it and felt her warm breath. The other hole was covered by a hatch, as she had said. He pressed a small grey button and it sprung open. Looking down it, he saw the dark red of her throat. He marvelled for a second and what he was seeing. It felt oddly intimate, peering down the open throat of a woman he’d only just met…
The phone vibrated again, spurring him into action. “Yeah, yeah…” he said to himself, grabbing the cup of now slightly cool coffee. He carefully poured some of it down the little hole, watching it disappear into the darkness. The torso twitched a little, and there was another message from the cell phone.
Don’t just tip it down my throat at once! It’s hot!
“Sorry!” blurted out Fergus, before remembering that his boss was effectively deaf. He quickly texted an apology before slowing the pace of his pouring down. There was no visible tongue, which meant that she probably couldn’t even taste the coffee- as she had said, this was probably just a caffeine hit for her. Was this how his day was going t go? Standing over a quintuple amputee-which was a thing now apparently- and pouring drinks down their neck? As it turned out, that was as peaceful as things got.
Now start up my computer. If you can even manage that. We’ve got work to do.
She shifted around in her seat, as if getting comfortable. Then she sent another text.
You’ve not even asked my name. How rude.
Crap, I totally forgot! Thought Fergus, before hastily grabbing the phone.
“Apologies. What is your name?”
Karen. Karen Clyne.
“Hello Karen.”
Is the computer on yet?
“It’s starting up”
Tell me when it’s on, then. And don’t call me Karen. I’m your boss, remember?
“Yes, Mrs Clyne.”
Ms. Clyne. Pull me up too, I feel like I’m about to slide off this cheap chair. Actually, mental note: order better office chair.
No wonder Wade only lasted two weeks of this…
[newpage]
For the next few days, what followed for Fergus was a bombardment of constant texts, both in and out of work. There was no small talk, no questions about his personal life, nothing that wasn’t related to Karen’s professional needs. He would get woke up at six in the morning, not by his usual alarm clock, but by that now-dreaded cheap mobile phone that he now had near his person at all times. He had gotten to know that repetitive, deadpan Bzzzzz noise, that forewarned him of his bosses latest message. From “I need you to print these out”, to “Please remind the team of these goals”, Fergus had found himself as the new ears, eyes and mouth of a faceless woman.
His old co-workers reacted to this with a mixture of amusement and sympathy. Fergus was generally liked in a vague “Yeah he’s ok” kind of way, and he was certainly more popular in his new role than Wade had been. But he was still the butt of a lot of jokes now.
“Hah, never thought I’d see you on your hands and knees for someone who has neither.” Joked Sam one day, catching Fergus as he managed to escape to the water cooler for a moment.
“Personally Sam I find that in very bad taste. I could have you reported you know.” Replied Fergus, who had removed his suit jacket to reveal a baby blue undershirt. “Think the boss would like that?”
“She’d probably fire me.” shrugged Sam. “But you’re too nice to do that to poor little me.”
“You’re like 6’7”
“I stand by my statement-look out, she’s behind you!” Fergus whirled round, then frowned as he heard his friend double over, in tears of laughter.
“Hahahaha! Yeah man she was just floating past you, I swear…”
“Eat me.” At that point, his phone buzzed. Fergus read the message. “Oh well, back at it. If this story spread I’m feeding you through the paper shredder.”
“Hahaha.”
Karen was waiting for him in her new chair, which had arrived in the morning. It was a large, cushioned number with absolutely no handrails for obvious reasons. Fergus was now expected to make some sort of physical contact with Karen when he was present, to let her know that he was actually there. Basically he was giving the signal for his own abuse, which he found quietly funny. He squeezed her shoulder gently, and a few seconds later she texted him.
Status update please.
“The emails have all been sent, staff seem to be working productively, moral good. Two new emails in the last hour.”
“Seem” to be? They either are productive or they aren’t. I need a better answer than that.
“I’ll make another check.”
The torso’s chest seemed to inflate, and then a gust of breath came out of Karen’s throat hole. The phone buzzed again.
Fine. Now, let’s attend to those emails.
She would text him her intended replies, a few sentences at a time, while he typed them into the computer. He didn’t know why she couldn’t just use her Wi-Fi to connect to the computer directly. Frankly he was afraid to ask, so he diligently transcribed all of her commands for her. It was a slow process. Boring as well. Once or twice he had texted her things like “So how are you” and been shot down with ruthless efficiency. It was more than just someone being harsh, as though Karen was absolutely determined not to reveal anything of herself to him. That, couple with what could be described as the world’s best poker face, made her a maddening mystery.
Lunch break was something of a blessing, once had had gotten the hang of feeding her. He’d give her soup (at least he never had to worry about choosing the right flavour, what with Karen’s lack of a tongue), followed by a cold drink, with a whole lot of coffee before and after it. It was fun to watch her little body shiver and jiggle as the caffeine hit her. Maybe that was why she was so cranky, he wondered. Too much of that stuff in her system, not way to vent the energy? He’d have to google that. In any case, Karen was usually quiet during these moments despite not really having to chew or anything. Maybe she too enjoyed the silence.
And when the day was over, she would be left in her chair. Apparently she had a dedicated nurse for her home life that came to collect her.
“I could carry you downstairs if you want.” Fergus had offered. This had been rejected.
I’m not going to have you stand around holding me in your arms like a baby!!! Karen had texted back, wiggling furiously. Eva is a professional, just let her do her job.
“Ok” he had text back.
Everyone would be staring. It would be mortifying.
“I get it. It’s fine.”
So he would leave here there, leaving the lights on. Again, Fergus had so many questions for Karen. Where did she live? Did she have family to take care of her too? But he knew his questions would fall on deaf ears, even if the torso had actually had any ears. Like all of the other mysteries about her, Fergus could only speculate. Perhaps one day she’d soften up to him, unlikely as it sounded. Fergus was a patient man with a high tolerance level for people like Karen. All he’d have to do was weather the storm…
[newpage]
More days passed. The storm got worse.
Idiot! Look at all these mistakes!
Fergus, we’re five minutes behind schedule! Move those arms and legs faster!
Bleh! This coffee tastes like mud!
The last one had been difficult. Fergus had no idea people without heads could do spit-takes, but apparently, they could. There must be a special muscle for that. He had calmly and efficiently dried up the mess before making Karen a new mug. Her mood remained caustic. It seemed like every little thing about him would set her off, to the point where Fergus frankly expected to get fired any moment now. But he was a patient man, and the job was a set up in terms of wages; he could take a few angry texts if it meant another few K per month.
Besides, Karen was just so… interesting. Sometimes he would stand in the doorway and watch her, even as she sent him important messages as she went about her job reviewing documents and making all those important managerial choices. In those moments, she seemed so peaceful, so still. Now that he was more used to her unique biology, he could appreciate little things, like how in-shape she looked for someone with no real ability to move outside of some wiggling. She must do a lot of crunches, he had decided. Someone like Karen would have the drive and discipline for that sort of thing. She was probably in better shape than Fergus.
In fact, one day he could confirm that.
It had been business as usual, which meant lots of typing, reading and coffee. They had been busy, which meant that the mug he had been gently pouring down her throat every so often had gone cold. She had been ranting about the workforce, Simon in particular; Fergus had wondered if she was doing that just to needle him. When he had tried to feed Karen some more, she reacted poorly, squirming and moving around in her chair. As it happened, her chest had bumped the still half-full coffee mug nearly out of Fergus’s hands, sending lukewarm black liquid all down the front of Karen’s suit and skirt. She started jerking and squiggling like she had just received an electric shock.
“Well, that’s that.” Fergus had thought to himself. “Bye bye, job.” So sure was he of his imminent termination that he considered not even looking down at the buzzing phone on the desk, and just walking right out of the building, just like Wade before him. He didn’t, though.
Did you just douse me with coffee?
Karen’s body was surprisingly calm. Fergus nervously picked up the phone.
“it was an accident. My apologies, will clean right away.” He texted back, before rushing out to the bathroom to grab some paper towels. The phone buzzed again midway there.
Accident?
“Yes, I bumped the cup against your chest.” Really it had been Karen bumping into him, but he wasn’t going to just out and blame her for this. He waited for more texts as he gathered towels.
They didn’t come. Indeed, when he got back, she was still sitting there, her clothes now rather soaked looking but looking so eerily calm. Once again, the lack of any sort of face made reading her emotions difficult, but this seemed like a pretty huge under-reaction. That worried Fergus. He got his phone out again.
“I’m gonna clean you now OK?” he said, standing over her.
What he got back from her nearly floored him.
My clothes are all wet. Take them off.
“What” Said Fergus, taking advantage of Karen’s lack of sight to make a ridiculous expression of surprise, then biting his lip. Bzzzz, went the phone.
I’ll catch pneumonia, I’m being serious. Do it now.
Oh, that was a good point actually. He hurriedly slid the small form of his boss out of her suit jacket. Karen was wearing a plain, no-nonsense white shirt underneath. Well, formerly white. The coffee had done a number on it. Fergus hesitated. She’d say something it she didn’t want him to-oh yeah, there she went.
Yes, shirt too. Don’t be a baby.
He took a deep breath.
“This is fine and normal.” He said aloud, before unbuttoning the shirt and pulling it upwards. The process was much easier when the person you were undressing didn’t have a head, he thought to himself wryly, before putting it on the floor alongside her jacket. At least she was wearing a bra, one that showed off her perky, well formed-no, that wasn’t what this was about get it together Fergus. He was a a professional and definitely not a weirdo. He looked down; he had still to get that skirt off now. He put his hands down on her waists, and she shivered very slightly, giving him pause once more.
Bzzz
Come on, come on...
Almost immediately, there was another buzz.
I mean hurry up and get these off before I catch a cold, you tool! If I get sick I’m taking legal action!
“All right, all right, geez.” Muttered Fergus, pulling his bosses skirt down in her office: a sentence that was much less sexy than the reality of the situation. At least she hadn’t fired him yet, he thought. Yet.. He looked down at her tiny form, half-naked and vulnerable as it sat on the chair. Despite her condition, Fergus had learned to find the sight of Karen vaguely intimidating. But now it really struck him how fragile she was. Her stumps, while mostly healed, till showed signs of the scars of her surgery, white marks making X signs in the woman’s skin. He was thankful he couldn’t see what her neck looked like now at least…
It occurred to Fergus that he should do something more than just stare, so he got to work cleaning her up with the paper towels he had retrieved. He could see bumps on Karen’s skin pop up as he brushed down the wet parts of her torso, which was mostly her shoulders and chest. He pressed the paper down on her right breast, near where it met her ribs, before moving down around the side into her cleavage. There was a sharp, short breath from the woman’s throat hole, but other than that, she gave no readable reaction.
When she was no longer covered in coffee, Fergus popped his own jacket off and placed her inside of it: she fit inside the whole thing.
What’s this? She asked.
“Just my jacket, haha, so you don’t get cold. What should I do now?” he asked. Her reply was unusually late, as though Karen was thinking. Inside his jacket he could see her try to stand up in the chair, almost like she was attempting to shrug it off.
I don’t want to work like this, replied Karen eventually. I must look ridiculous in that cheap jacket of yours.
“I’m sorry.”
Hmmph. No good. Take me home.
“Should I phone your carer?”
Just take me home, Fergus. Before I get mad.
“OK”
[newpage]
Smuggling her out of the office had been something of an exercise in stealth. He had wrapped Karen up entirely in his jacket, hiding her from the rest of the workforce, and the loitered by the doorway of her office room until he was sure that the least amount of people possible would see them. Then he darted past everyone, clutching his boss tight to his chest. He zoomed past a startled Simon who barely had time to register a hello before Fergus was gone, darting into an elevator that by the good grace of God was waiting open for them.
Karen had given him her address; she lived on the other side of town. Normally that would be a pain, but at least it wasn’t rush hour. He had made sure Karen was secured safely in the seat next to him. A terrible part of him had considered buying her a baby seat. An even worse part of him had thought about putting her in the trunk. Probably because she had continued to send him texts even though he was driving.
Don’t drive so fast! You’re a maniac!
“Stop texting me!” said Fergus out loud, thumping his steering wheel in frustration. “Christ!”. He took a long deep breath. Shouting and cursing wasn’t going to do anyone any good; she couldn’t even hear it. He let the buzzing of the phone fade of out into the background, unnoticed, as the torso girl squirmed in her seat. At least with his jacket on she had some of her dignity preserved. He wondered what a cop would think, should one pull up beside Fergus’s car and look through the widow. He hoped that he didn’t find out.
Thankfully, and for once in this rotten period of Fergus’s life, he got lucky. There were no incidents as he made his way smoothly to Karen’s home. She lived in a small, cosy looking building all on her own, as it turned out. There was no garden or lawns save for a hedge that was shared with her neighbour, and there didn’t appear to be any floors above the ground level. Which made sense when Fergus thought about it. He couldn’t really see Karen either making her way up any stairs or mowing any lawns by herself. He pulled up outside and picked up his poor, overworked phone.
“We’re here. Please don’t text while I’m driving thanks”
Thank god. OK, take me inside.
Fergus got out and soon had Karen cradled in his arms once more. He made his way to the porch. A thought occurred.
“Do you have a key?” he texted.
I sent Eva a message. She’s left a key under the mat.
Fergus looked. There was indeed a small key left there. He picked it up. Another thought occurred, and he fumbled for his phone, having to juggle it along with Karen and the key.
“Why didn’t you just get Eva to run you home?!”
Because I like Eva, and you were right there anyway. It’s your fault I had to come home anyway, you dolt!
Taking some deep breaths, Fergus unlocked the front door and carried his charge inside. He wandered into the living room and looked around, surprised. There was barely any decorations- the walls were painted white, and there were no mirrors, posters, paintings or anything else. It made sense when he started to think about it, of course. Someone as practical as Karen had no need for decorations. A part of him wondered if the house would look the same way even if she had a head…
“Where should I take you?”
Upstairs. Get me changed.
Yikes. Well, this had been likely. Fergus was directed via increasingly abrupt texts to his boss’s bedroom. The bed there was far too large for a woman of Karen’s size, which was the one show of indulgence in an otherwise Spartan home. Everything else was extremely clean and orderly looking, no doubt thanks to the careful work of Eva. He placed Karen down gently on her bed. He thought for a bit about how to word his text.
“Do you have pyjamas”
There are comfy shirts in the drawers.
“Which drawer?”
Stop texting and start looking, I’m getting cold
The torso rolled gently around on the bed, trying to get comfortable as the out-of-his-depth office worker found himself rooting through her drawers. Work clothes, casual wear, and of course inevitably a drawer full of underwear. The second to last drawer was filled with oversized shirts- he picked out a black one and brought it over, removing the shirt she had been wearing, and started to pull it over Karen. His phone buzzed.
Too warm with my underwear on. Take those off too.
“Seriously.” He texted back, once the freeze that he’d felt in his chest had dissipated.
Do me. It.
Fergus read the text carefully. What an… interesting slip. He remembered how that worked- her thoughts were being directly translated into messages, right? Could that have just been a little Freudian slip?
What if it wasn’t?
Fergus?
“Ok two seconds.”
He turned Karen over so she was face down, so to speak, then unhooked her bra. His hands trembled as he worked, and in his state of now heightened paranoia about his boss and her thoughts, it seemed as though her torso was squirming at his touch. Where had this come from? He was imagining it, surely. Not Karen, the battle-axe from hell who had spent the last week hating his guts. No, clearly, he just had a dirty mind.
He turned Karen over again and lifted her bra off. Her breasts were now fully exposed, and now that they were free it was apparent how blessed the torso-girl was in that department. Fergus took a few deep breaths and tried to stay {i]professional , averting his eyes, only to be met with her white cotton panties. He slipped a finger down the sides and Karen reacted instantly, squirming uncontrollably for several seconds like she’d just been electrocuted. A damp spot had very obviously formed in her panties. Fergus held his fingers there, paralyzed and unsure how to proceed. But he had no choice. He slid the garments off of Karen, and then she was nude. Her slit was clearly glistening as Karen wiggled some more on the bed. She had a finely trimmed cut of blonde pubic hair- Fergus would only later twig that this meant Karen would have been a blonde with a head. Right now he was a little distracted.
Zombie-like, Fergus slowly reached out a hand… and grabbed the black shirt on the bed. Then he carefully fitted it down over Karen’s shoulders and pulled it over the rest of her, covering up his boss once more, before breathing a sigh of relief. For a moment there, he had to admit there had been a shameful stirring in his pants. Seeing her naked, just a torso, not even a head! Naked and vulnerable in a way he’d never seen a woman before. And with how she had been acting- or at least, how he had started to think she had been acting. That was the thing, Karen was so hard to read that you could project all sorts of things onto her actions. Fergus shook his head, chastising himself for this. At least now he could concentrate. Hopefully she’d be back to her usual self.
His phone went off.
That’s it? Really?
What.
“??” he texted back. The torso had stopped wiggling around so much, wrapped up in the oversized black shirt that would have went down to just above Karen’s knees had she still had knees.
You dense motherfucker. You absolute clueless gibbon.
This string of insults actually went on longer- Fergus had to interrupt her mid-flow, reeling from this unexpected turn. He was starting to regret wishing that Karen would go back to her old self now.
“What did I do?”
How much more obvious do I have to be you blithering idiot?! Do I have to spell it out for you? Because I will.
“Karen I’m sorry I don’t understand”
F
U
C
K
M
E
Fergus got the message around about the letter C, and waited for Karen to finish before responding with his own spelling contest entry.
“W. A. T.” He watched as the torso in front of him tried to wiggle in his direction. Somehow it looked angry, the wiggles full of purpose as she inched towards where she imagined her assistant was standing. The constant vibrations of the phone in his hand only made her seem angrier.
What, you think that coffee spill was an accident? You dolt. I’ve been trying to get your attention since day one. Most guys would have picked up on it, but you’re just a precious cinnamon roll who can’t take a hint.
“You mean that was you flirting? Lol.”
Don’t lol at me, Fergus! The torso, “crawling” on her stomach, had a few seconds of squirming, which Fergus interpreted as a sort of tantrum. I can’t just… flirt with a guy? Not just cause I’m your boss. You know what I mean. It’s hard. You couldn’t understand. Don’t say you do. You don’t.
It was hard to argue with, not when his previously ice-cold boss was being so sincere with him. He picked her up, gently, and gave Karen a hug. There was a risk of being patronising here, but he felt instinctively this was the right call for now. He held her there. The texts stopped, leaving the two with a moment of calm. He felt her naked chest rising and falling against his own, so close that he could feel her heart beat. When it slowed down into a calm rythmn, he held her lightweight body with one arm and picked up the phone with the other, wondering what to say given what her stated intentions had been. He’d never read a text from Karen the same way again now.
“You OK?”
I feel stupid. Urgh. Sorry. I’m a bit pent up.
“It’s OK.”
It’s not like I ask Eva to get me off or anything. I’m kinda. I need. I’d be grateful.
Fergus tapped his finger on the side of the phone thoughtfully. This had escalated rather quickly, in a way he had somehow not seen coming when she had asked him to take her home. Maybe he really was an idiot.
“You sure?”
If this is making you uncomfortable, I understand. I’m your boss, I know. Awkwaaaard.
“Do you promise not to send very angry texts if we do this.”
I’ll send the sweetest and cuddliest texts ever if you just hurry up and fuck me already.
There wasn’t really a text he could think of that didn’t sound lame in response to that. So Fergus didn’t bother. He just dropped the phone onto the floor, and then Karen onto the bed, letting her tiny form drop out of the shirt before throwing it away. He could see her shiver in anticipation as he undressed. Fergus had never been someone with a lot of confidence in his body, but that didn’t matter so much right now. In a way it was rather liberating.
When he was as naked as his boss (a sentence that would normally have sent him screaming out of a nearby window) Fergus knelt down next to the bed, so that his face was more or less level with Karen. He reached his hands out and let them travel around her body- his fingers traced themselves around her firm sides and front, moving over her chest freely. Karen squirmed helplessly. The phone started to vibrate, but for now Fergus wasn’t going to take any orders from Karen. He grabbed her suddenly and pulled her towards the edge of the bed, his face inches away from her slit, and helped himself to a taste.
The quintuple amputee reacted as much as was possible for someone with no arms, legs or head, all her available muscles contacting as Fergus lapped at her fold. His hands squeezed and spread the cheeks of her butt as he took his time, letting his tongue linger on certain spots, taking breaks between each lick. Occasionally Fergus would pull his face back and bring his fingers up to her labia, spreading Karen’s flower and admiring the view. She looked ready.
The assistant stood up, taking Karen with him. He was already hard, but he rubbed her body against himself for a little bit, both to get himself 100% erect and to let his boss know what was in store for her. He could hear his phone going like crazy, but he stood firm in denying her contact for now. When he felt the time was right, Fergus hoisted Karen into the air and held her there for a few seconds, before lowering her down onto his cock.
She slipped over his member and immediately he could feel her vaginal muscles clamp down on him, squeezing him for all she was worth. Fergus still had to do most of the work here; it was honestly more like a very advanced form of jerking off, pulling the torso up and then pushing her back down again over and over. At least she was light, even with those boobs of her. They jiggled up and down, looking much bigger than they probably were due to Karen’s unique body-shape. He reached his arms out and held the torso by her tits, supporting her body weight with his dick and the hands around her boobs.
“Hmph,” he groaned, feeling her sink deeper onto him. It occurred to him that Karen was deaf, and he took the opportunity to indulge in some dirty talk. “You feel great around my cock. Fuck.” He stopped, embarrassed at himself, before continuing. “I’m using my boss as a sex-toy. Hahaha. My boss is a sex-toy!” He had to stop himself from shouting it, but he had to admit, it felt hot to say that as he rode his boss like the toy he’d said she was.
He blinked. Uh oh, that had felt a little too good. He was close now, and quickly tried to pull out of his boss before he made the torso pregnant. He almost threw her onto the bed, Karen landing on her stomach “facing” Fergus. Thinking quickly, he pushed the button on her collar that opened up her throat, and plunged himself inside. He came quickly, blowing his load directly down into her stomach, practically holding her upside down as he milked himself dry with her. Tired, he collapsed onto the bed, withdrawing himself from his boss and wiping himself clean on her skin. He laid there on top of her for a few minutes.
Eventually he got up and retrieved the phone from the floor. He had some fun reading though the messages he had missed, which were a good thirty or so deep.
“Enjoy yourself, then?”
Yeah : )
“Not too rough I hope.”
Not rough enough. Next time don’t be so cautious.
“Next time?” he texted back, smiling.
Obviously. You’re staying the night, I assume?
Fergus looked down at the naked torso lady on the bed, glistening and red-skinned, as she arched her back and presented herself some more.
“I could do that.” |
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发表于 2022-6-14 17:48:57
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